The Italian Man Who Went To Malta


One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning I go down to eat a breakfast.

I tell the waitress I wanna two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her “I wanna two piece”. She said “Go to the toilet”. I said “You no understand. I wanna two piece on my plate”. She said “You better not piss on your plate, you son of a bitch!” I don’t even know the lady and she called me a son of the beach.

Later, I go to eat at the bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fork. I tell her “I wanna the fork (fock)”, and she tells me “Everybody wanna f*ck!” I tell her “You no understand. I wanna fork on the table!” She said “You better no f*ck on the table, you son of a bitch!”

So I go back to my room in the hotel, and there is no sheets (shits) on the bed. Called the manager and tell him “I wanna sheet (shit).” He tells me to go to the toilet! I said “You no understand. I wanna sheet on my bed”. He said “You better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch.”

I go to the check out and the man at the desk said “Peace on you” and I said “Piss on you too, you son of a beach”. I´m gonna back to Italia.

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